It has taken a few days but I have swung back into action. I’ve turned back from that calm and collected clone of myself that appeared over the festive break into the angst ridden creature that normally occupies my mortal self. I don’t know what happened. One minute I was fine and then the next morning I was pacing up and down the kitchen floor like a caged lion, just waiting to get into the car and face another day.
It’s a funny phrase to be ‘back in the swing of things’. It is a synonym, taken to mean that you are back in the habit or groove. It reminds me though of the ‘Pit and the Pendulum’ by Edgar Allan Poe and the film with Vincent Price where each swing of the razor like pendulum brings you ever closer to certain death. That’s a bit morose for so early on in the New Year.
So why is it that I have lost my calm? It is not as if I’ve not been here before. This is probably the thirty fifth year where I have had to face something similar yet there seems to be point (a tipping point?) where you suddenly seem overwhelmed by the volume of work that seems to be raining down upon you.
I have thought for a long time that there are three things that we do on a daily basis: things you must do, things you should do and; things that you could do. As long as you get the must-dos sorted then no one is going to complain at you. Of course the trick is to identify which task falls into which category. It is a trick that I have managed to pull off with some aplomb so far.
I think though that my heightened levels of stress come from being unable to get on with the things that I might want to do. What concerns me is when I lose control of my own agenda. Apparently this is one of the major causes of stress. What troubles me is when life gets in the way of stopping me doing the things that I want to do.
Which means that there are more than three things we do depending upon whether they are what you want or what someone else wants. To make my life enjoyable then all I need to do is make enough time to manage both sets of must-dos, my own and everyone else’s.
I have come over all Zen.