In the canteen at work there is a sign near the tills where the cutlery and condiments can be found. It says ‘Don’t take more tissues than you need.’ It is slightly menacing. There is a veiled threat that if you are caught with more tissues than is appropriate for your personal consumption something sinister will happen. The tissue police will swarm. ‘Honestly officer, I was carrying them for a friend’ will be my pitiful cry. ‘Come with us son, we know you’re a tissue mule.’ They’ve heard it all before.
But why the note? What disastrous event took place that made someone take the time to type and print it out?
Were people taking them for purposes that they weren’t intended for? Were they grabbing handfuls and leaving them on the tables? Was there black-market in tissues fed by the free supply from the canteen or was the note written in response to the need to save money? Were they getting some stick from management or perhaps it was just too much of a faff to keep filling up the dispenser.
Who knows? Someone must. I’d love to know but am afraid to ask.
It makes me laugh though, every time I see the note. I can fill my boots with knives, forks and spoons. I can take as much salt or pepper or sugar as I want but not tissues. Surely there are worse things that happen at sea than someone taking one or two more tissues than they end up needing. How many would you need anyway? It’s not as if you can bring them back.
People get obsessed by the strangest of things. I’m sure there was some reason that made producing the note worthwhile but it will be lost in history. I’m also sure it wasn’t meant to be funny (irony or sarcasm) but every time I get to the end of the queue I smile – and make sure I don’t take too many tissues.
Thoughts from a Guerrilla Worker 
Reblogged this on The Echo Chamber.
Love it! Perhaps the purpose was to make folks smile!
It certainly does. It is so local government.
I remember it well. Attended full day course there where lunch was provided. Went to the salad bar and used tongs for cucumber, sweet corn, lettuce etc.. When I went to add tomato a hand reached from behind the salad bar and grabbed the tongs. The voice with the tongs told me I was only allowed three salad items with my jacket potato. At that time said canteen was operated with a catering contract. I remember firing back at the voice with the tongs, ‘That’s why the kitchen is direct employment at my school so the kids can eat what they would like and not have to follow a prescription.’ She really annoyed me.
There are a couple to be avoided but some very nice people as well. I agree with you about direct employment though. They are committed to the values of the organisation.