Why it is that shortbread biscuits are embossed with heraldic or religious symbols I don’t know? I mean shields, flags, fleur-de-lys, Celtic crosses, that sort of thing. Surely it’s a set of quaint historical devices, redolent of a time when biscuit eating was a more refined and genteel pastime.
No, it’s not that at all. It’s a deliberate but subliminal attempt by the state and church to assert their authority over us. Whilst we are enjoying the sweet and buttery taste of the shortbread and sipping our tea we are being literally drip fed with patriotic propaganda.
It’s a long term plan to subjugate us and restore the old order. Like Pavlov’s dogs we’re responding to the pleasant sensations and associating these with the succour and generosity of our feudal masters.
It’s not like they haven’t tried before. What about the subtle threat of violence in the Ginger Snap or Nut Brittle, or the elitist overtones of the Rich Tea? Don’t forget the obvious militaristic leanings of the Garibaldi and the Bourbon.
I don’t want state intervention in my choice of snacks. I want to disestablish my biscuits.
I’m on to them. I can see what they are up to. I’m ditching the shortbread and giving it the two chocolate fingers.
Thoughts from a Guerrilla Worker 