A colleague said to me ‘Phil, you achieve in a day what most people would be happy achieving in a month!’ Of course it’s not true, it’s just an impression that I give. Yes, I get through a lot but then time runs at the same rate for me as everyone else.
It’s a strength and a weakness in me. I try to pack as much into a day as I can. I overstuff my diary, give myself an impossible amount of things to achieve and end up paying the price for it. I am more disappointed by what I haven’t achieved rather than be content with what I have.
Occasionally it is good to stop and look back from where you have come. Good for me at least.
All of this frantic activity is an attempt to cheat time. I am working hard to get ahead of myself, always thinking about tomorrow’s task rather than today’s. By the time I’ve ticked off today’s work I am already looking at my check list, working two or three days ahead.
Yet it is all to no avail, you can’t cheat time. The work will stretch out over the horizon as it is me that is creating it, ironically. The more I do the more there is to do. The more I try to get ahead, the further behind I seem to be. I can’t control my own time because I can’t control others. I am reliant on what my colleagues achieve and cannot expect them to go at my pace, they have their own things to do and their own rhythms to follow.
Why do I carry in this way knowing fine well I am caught in a trap? That’s easy, it’s because I like working this way. In truth I have been like this for many years and, at my ripe old age, am unlikely to change.
Does your work define the way you are or do you define the way you work?
Thoughts from a Guerrilla Worker 