Lunch time

I was once telling to a friend of mine how I had great difficult y in explaining to colleagues about some issues that I was having to deal with and how they could be  affected.  I was finding it hard to get my point across and speak to them in a way that meant something to them.  I did not feel that they had an understanding of a bigger picture and my efforts to make them aware were lost.  My friend listened intently as I explained the multiple methods I had used to communicate and the tricks I had employed to make a difference but that it had all been in vain.  She nodded her head in empathy and said ‘Have you ever taken them to lunch?’

This simple comment stopped me dead in my tracks.  Suddenly I was able to see where I had been going wrong.  I had been talking to my colleagues as an outsider, from my perspective and without any real understanding or sympathy for their position.  So I took my friends advice and met with each of the people that I needed to deal with over lunch, individually.  We talked about many things, mostly about work but in a much more open and friendly way.  All of us have a life outside of work which affects our approach whether we believe it does or it doesn’t and sharing lunch was a great way to start to get to know each other. 

This may sound like a cynical ploy to manipulate my fellow workers but I assure you that it wasn’t.  I was able to glean an understanding of their values and what motivated them about their work.  I was then in a position to describe my issues in a way that they could picture and appreciate.  It took some time to get around all of the team and some lunches were less enjoyable than others but overall it was a worthwhile strategy.  It certainly was good advice.

We’ve all heard of the expression ‘a family that eats together stays together’ and it’s true of your colleagues. That’s why today the five of us in the management team to which I belong got together in the staff restaurant to have lunch together. Our topics of conversation were varied, from hobbies to holidays and from weekends to, quite naturally work.

My advice, based upon experience, is that If you really want to be able to work closely with someone then it’s a good idea to get to know them as a person rather than just a work associate and that eating lunch together is a great place to start.

Here is a little article I found about the benefits of families eating together which adds some weight to my tale http://www.instepministries.com/articles/eatstogetherstaystogether.pdf