Thoughts from a Guerrilla Worker

“What did you do at work today Daddy?”  “I made grown-ups hold up bits of blue, green and red laminated card.”  “Is that all?” No, not at all.  It all started this morning when I had a nice cappuccino with a colleague in the restaurant at Gateshead civic centre.  For some reason I always like … Continue reading What did you do at work today?

I always have a few things going round my head that I would really like to understand, things that occupy my thoughts somewhat meaninglessly but which I find to be of interest.  I’ll see something or hear something and it will set my mind wandering.  Every so often I seem to make some progress, perhaps … Continue reading Things I would like to understand

“Tell me again why are we sitting here?”  “We’re waiting our turn.”  “Yes but why?  The baskets are just hanging there and no one is at them.”  “Look, that’s just the way it is, first it’s the blue ones, then it’s the black ones and then it’s our turn.”  “But the black ones can go … Continue reading Be patient and wait your turn

Yes it is, the pop video has melted the brains of a generation, addled them and turned them to mush.  Our youth has been lost to the high octane visual staccato of the video medium of the last twenty years.  They have sat in front of the goggle box (should that be Google box?) absorbing … Continue reading It’s all the fault of the pop video

A knife made out of butter – a butter knife may seem to be an odd way to come up with a business idea but not to the people at Kitch-Widgets.  According to Steve Polster, Head of Creative Design ‘That’s the way we work here.  We take a look at everyday objects from different angles … Continue reading A buttery knife

What a year it’s been, a difficult one to say the least.  I think it all went wrong after the accident, or should I say accidents, since it seems I’ve had a few.  They must have been bad, I must have blacked out as I can’t remember anything about them but some kind souls keep … Continue reading It’s been a difficult year

Mike Selby sat at his desk, a wide expanse of dark stained wood in the brand new corner office, all glass and steel in a prestigious part of town.  Apart from the phone there was nothing else in front of him other than a clinically designed report entitled ‘Red Button Gourmet – Global Expansion Proposal’.  … Continue reading TV dinners

I take it all back, peace on earth and goodwill to all men, I don’t think so.  It’s hell out there.  The car parks are packed, the shops are packed and even public transport is packed.  If you don’t get to the shops before nine in the morning you’re going to be in trouble.  People … Continue reading Christmas mayhem

About six weeks before Christmas, ask your children for a list of things they may want as a gift. Wait a month for the list not to arrive. Then spend a lot of money on fuel driving to the shops and back. And spend hours of your life driving round to find a suitable parking … Continue reading The Christmas recycle

Man’s best friend is set to become even more useful as scientists have made a major breakthrough in helping them to drive vehicles through the development and introduction of the new ScentNavTM. “Getting dogs to drive has always been difficult.” said Doctor Bob Whyman, Head of Canine Automotive Studies at Manchester Metropolitan University.  “Apart from … Continue reading Dogs will soon be driving