Memories

Memories are funny things, each of us has them. They are things that come up when families get together and we’ve been getting together quite a bit over the last few weeks.

My memory is poor however and I am often shocked at how much people can remember that I have completely forgotten. Or have I?

If I can’t remember something, how do I know it actually happened? If someone can remember something, does this make it true?

I ask this as there are times when my memory of an event, one of the few I can actually remember, differs from that of the other person. Of course we can’t have the same memories as we come from different perspectives and literally different points of view. For example, I have a memory of being in a place without the person I am talking to, yet they have the memory of being there with me.

Which is true? They can’t both be or can they? Time adjusts memory. It disassembles thoughts and experiences and reconstitutes them into something else. In many ways memories are nothing more than stories we tell ourselves, both good or bad. They are not fixed things. Each time we recollect them they can be altered or tweaked to fit our own narrative and, over time they can diverge from the truth, if there is such a thing.

And that’s the kicker, as they say, whatever you believe is your truth. Your memories, your dreams and your thoughts are true as are everybody else’s. In this way, other people’s memories are just as true as yours and so it is quite possible that the person who you thought wasn’t there was indeed there.  Both can be true.

There’s no way of proving it anyway. Unless you have recorded every moment in your life, from every angle and every perspective then it is your thoughts against theirs. There’s no point in arguing your case as you are never going to change their minds, only they can do that.

Perhaps in the end you are wrong after all.