I’ve done something I shouldn’t have done, something foolish earlier on this week. We had a problem with the network and I asked a couple of colleagues to reboot a switch and I shouldn’t. OK, it had a red warning light on and it was rebooted properly and much of the business was stopped and I could feel the customer’s frustration but I’m not a network engineer, never have been and am very unlikely ever to be one. So what made me think I could solve the problem with the press of a button or two?
Since then I have spoken to everyone involved; the people that I asked to do the dirty deed and their manager, the people whose job it is to look after the network and their manager and I have apologised profusely and explained that what I did was wrong. But ever since the event I have been feeling down and depressed, followed by a black cloud and it has never stopped snowing.
I’ve felt bad because I did what I should never have done, I broke my own golden rules in that I acted first and thought later, I went beyond my own red line by compromising the position of others and crossed my own Rubicon. I became the very person that I never wanted to be and there was no excuse.
All of this is true but there is something else that is concerning me more, something deeper and that is the effect it has had upon the brand, both my own and that of the service. How can I keep people focussed on thinking an issue through and understanding its true cause before acting upon it if they can turn round and say that I didn’t? How can I ask people to trust and respect the judgment of those people paid to manage the technology and to sort out such issues if they can turn round and say that I didn’t? How can I talk about sticking to your values if they can turn round and say well you didn’t?
I did something wrong that I shouldn’t have done and I’ll get over it, perhaps writing this blog may even help get it off my chest but, believe me, I’m not going to do that again. Is that the sun coming out?
Thoughts from a Guerrilla Worker 
Phil,
Lighten up on yourself. You made a mistake, you admitted it, you apologised and you learned from it. You have taken a positive from a negative. I would congratulate you for being self-aware and being human. You made a mistake, it happens. What you do after it is what matters. How many other managers, especially senior ones, will take that view in their organisation? More to the point, how many people will learn from those mistakes to be better at what they do?
Yes, customers will be frustrated, but then life is frustrating. Perhaps the downtime gave them a chance to reflect on what they were doing. Perhaps they need to understand how interconnected all our lives are and why we cannot take any part of it for granted. If you get better, learn from your mistakes, you will be doing better for your customers.
As for the staff or others seeing your mistake as an excuse to avoid learning or trying to improve, I think they miss the point. What you did was show you are human and reinforce why it is good to work through a problem before seeking a simple solution. If anything, this shows why you were encouraging people to think through the problem because you exemplified what can happen if it is not done.
Pick yourself up, get back in the game and keep shooting for the goal!
Thanks, very much appreciated. It was wrong but I have used it as a learning point. I’m back on the horse now.