A beard is this year’s must-have accessory, especially if you are a man. Everyone is growing one from Brad Pitt to Alan Pardew. Hirsute is in and the fresh faced look of youth is out, apparently. So when I found that I had a few days off from work then what better time was there to give it a go? After all it cannot be that hard can it? All I have to do is stop shaving, something that I find quite tedious anyway, and let nature take its course.
Day one wasn’t too bad. I just looked as if I hadn’t shaved, not surprisingly really. It was more of a morning shadow than anything and day two was much the same though by now it was definitely looking like a George Michael designer brand. By day four the cat was out of the bag (not that I had resorted to some form of cheating) in that my wife had spotted that something was going on.
I had visions of grandeur and by day five I had hoped to be sporting a full Captain Haddock but for some reason growth had seemed to have stalled. Mathematics was once again playing its cruel tricks on me as, I am assuming here a constant rate of increase, day two’s growth represented a 100% improvement on the overall length yet day three’s growth was only a 50% increase and by day five this had declined to a mere 20%. As each day goes by the relative rate of increase gest smaller and smaller until eventually it all seems negligible. Now even the simplest of tasks seems as if it is going to be hard.
The good news however, is that I feel I have crossed a line. My growth is becoming more beard like as I write this. It has gone beyond a fuzz to a respectable facial decoration, flecked to match the stuff on the top of my head, in keeping with my age, only a little more salt than pepper for my liking.
It’s all worked out so far but I’m not sure if I’m going to keep it. There are things to consider such as how it makes me look, how it makes me feel and whether or not I like having it on my face. I’ll give it a couple more weeks and see how we get on together before making a decision. Beards my well be in and I have given it a good shot but I cannot say that I allow fashion to dictate my life. After all I do work in ICT!
Thoughts from a Guerrilla Worker 