The salt seekers

Occasionally my wife is asked to work on a Sunday, only for a couple of hours. I volunteer to drive her in as it gives me the chance to go and have a cooked breakfast at JD Wetherspoon, full English plus a cup of tea for £3.89 has to be good value.  I usually go to the Union Rooms at the bottom of the Westgate Road, near to the Central Station and opposite the Lit and Phil.  I take my usual seat (yes, I know) in the corner, near the window where I have a good view of the comings and goings.

I walk down from the car park and get settled in just before nine when I am generally the only customer to have arrived but that doesn’t last for long.  Just after the turn of the hour in they come, the salt seekers, clients of Newcastle’s vibrant night-time economy coming in to restore their bodies’ nutrient balance after a night of reverie.

They appear in groups, teams of drinkers, not so fresh from the previous night’s hard fought enjoyment.  Almost always the groups are of a single sex, the men appear in posses, dressed in football shirts, Top-Shop shorts and plimsolls.  The women have a pink and sparkly theme with Stetsons hanging around their necks, vestiges of the exploits of the early hours.  Many have an overnight bag with them but only when they have been playing an away fixture, Adidas or Gola for the boys and on something on wheels, matching their ensemble for the girls.

They come in noisily, with much bravado and they take their tables, laughing and clucking to try and rid themselves of the inevitable hangover.  And then they order, anything with salt, anything that will restore their bodies natural balance, anything that will start to right the wrongs of last night’s fixture, bacon, sausage, black pudding, in a bun or without, hot buttered toast, tea or coffee, eggs, tomato or brown sauce.  The bravest have a fried tomato or mushrooms and claim it as one of their five a day.

They settle down to eat and slowly but surely calmness is restored.  The blood flows, the muscles start to function as they should and the mind becomes sharpened and engaged once more.  The conversation turns to the enjoyment of last night and the plans for the rest of the day but in gentler, more communicative and social tones.

The salt seekers have found what they were looking for, the restorative white crystal has done its job and now it’s time that they move on, as I will, to whatever we have planned for the rest of the day.